Sometimes I feel like I'm living ina dream. And one of these moments I'll wake up and be back in 7th grade, still be wearing headgear, still avoiding boring homework, still wondering what I'm supposed to be doing now. Am I really old enough to be getting married in 5 days? Am I really able to do a job every day? Can I cook meals? Can I be a good pet owner? Am I really responsible enough to own a house?
I was in a meeting the other day and after the initial small talk and common pleasantries (I dislike small talk) everyone started talking about fiscal year this and strategic steps that. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I mean, c'mon. Who really wants to fill their short life with that stuff? I can't understand it. I finally felt almost sick to my stomach and excused myself. I went into the bathroom and found myself staring at my reflection wondering how I got there.
I feel like a lot of the times people are not honest with who they are inside. They hide behind these protective shields to ward off enemy arrows. Why? Maybe because it's safe there. There's nothing heartfelt on the line. It's not going to get you in trouble if you just say what you're supposed to.
I wish I could change this. I know I can start with myself. I don't have to fit some mold of who I think I should be. It's just a matter of being honest and true and boldly myself. And if that's scary, that means I'm doing it right.