Mountains vs. Molehills Oh lordy, how I've been struggling lately. I've been quiet here, as you've noticed. I've tried to explain it as best I could at the time. But now I think I feel comfortable telling what I've been going through. And my realization throughout this whole thing (I tend to have a lot of those lately...)
I am an over-thinker. I think all the time. Not just about what's on TV or what I'd like for dinner, but about how things affect one another. How the world is working and what the objective truth is, if there is such a thing. No, I'm not a philosopher. I don't even claim to be close. (Though I'm sure being married to one, doesn't help.) I just can't make it stop, though I wish it would. The volume on this has been turned up lately because of all my experimentation. My evolution...my forced evolution.
It's been fun experimenting all the time. Trying this, seeing how that works if I do that. And one day last week I hit on something that made me stop. Hmmm...I found it. What I've been looking for this whole time. I just stumbled across it. And it was wonderful. I felt elation almost.
But that brought a new emotion immediately: fear. Fear about what to do with this. My experimentation had not taken me one step away...but a giant leap away, in my opinion. And I didn't know what to do with that.
In clearer terms: My illustration is growing up a bit. Not all for kids anymore. You've seen some of that in the illustrations I've been doing lately (me with the paint roller and the guy in the life preserver). But then I took it even further. Read on to learn what I'm talking about...
That's why I've been quiet. I've been thinking over what I should do with this. Thinking, thinking, thinking.
Last week's topic for Illustration Friday was security (how ironic). I did an illustration in the "new style" and then copped out at the last minute, putting up instead the guy in the life preserver. Here is my original "security" idea:
You can see how it's different. I thought it was a million miles away from where I was. And I panicked.
I talked to everyone I could think of about what to do. Is it so different that I need to do a whole site dedicated to it? Do I need a pseudonym to work under for this? Or is it just close enough to fit under the same umbrella? Do I ditch my old stuff? (I didn't really want to do that because I enjoy working in both mediums so much.) I talked till I was blue in the face. (Many apologies to everyone I annoyed.)
But this weekend I let it go. I forgot about it completely while I was rearranging all the furniture in my house and painting walls and purging stuff and reorganizing. Basically, I distracted myself by doing physical labor.
Then this morning I woke up, remembered my dilemma, and the answer kind of floated down from heaven. I had made up my mind without thinking about it.
I decided that the basic drawing behind both techniques is still the same. You can tell that I did it, even though the medium in which it's done is different. They are close enough to fit under the same umbrella. And therefore, they will both be seen here at Penelope Illustration.
Oh, my. What an ordeal. Why do I make mountains out of molehills? If I'd just relax, let it go and trust that things will figure themselves out I'd be much less stressed and much easier to be around. Why must I keep learning that lesson over and over again!?
So, in honor of my decision, I did this illustration to remind myself to relax and stop making mountains into molehills.
The End. Thank you for sticking with me through this extremely long entry.