The beginning of the conference was very nerve-wracking for me. I was very intimidated to be in the same room as the people I admire so much. And it seemed like they all knew one another. I didn't know anyone and didn't recognize anyone either. I felt very very small...like when I moved around so much as a kid...I wanted to pretend to be someone else the first day to help ease into the new environment. I took a seat near the back by myself and jotted down a quick note to help me get out what i was feeling (plus I wanted a reminder of the moment, because I suspect that eventually I won't be so intimidated).
This is what I wrote:
After that a student trotted up and introduced herself in a most outgoing, cheerleader way. I said my name back and smiled, wondering if I should step outside myself for a moment to be more like her.
Um, nope. Never. Back to reality.
I sat back and waited for the first speech to begin. And when it did I felt a little better. It was about the Big Idea. Going for things that seem out of reach and learning as you go....keep pushing yourself creatively.
I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. This was a concept I understood. I do that all the time. Constantly pushing...
I saw slides of work that made my knees go weak. So beautiful...so smart...stunning...artistic. And they made it look so easy. Like these ideas just plop out of their heads as soon as the assignment chimes in their email inbox.
I know that's not the case, but hey, I was in awe. I'm allowed to be ridiculous.
And I felt the inspiration start to wash over me...
(to be continued...)