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I find it very strange (and so cool) that people hire me to paint. They ask me to create something and trust that it will fit their assignment and hit their target. And they trust that I will get it done on time and it will be good. I'm hired for something that does not yet exist. When I think about it too much (as I tend to do), that's a lot of pressure. Sometimes I worry that my creativity will go away. But the assignments still come in and I have to tackle them and promise them that there is more in me. And there always is (thank god)...and I've come to rely on that. But. But that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't get assignments and freak out a little. I wonder what I can come up with for this... will it be good enough? will I have an original idea? will my ability serve me? But of course, I can't tell clients this. I just look them straight in the eye (or email) and say "Yes! I can do that!"

By now I know that freaking out is part of my process. And it's a little more bearable now (just slightly). I just try to move past it quickly and get into the sketching-like-crazy phase. That's a much better phase...