a new start

I'm grateful for a lot of things right now... the first being that Veda is healthy again. I'm nearly there (I still can't hear because of a lingering ear infection, but it's improved greatly). Colin is sick now, but he is the last of us and soon we'll all be healthy and back to normal. (Thank goodness! It's been weeks and weeks!)

Veda starts preschool tomorrow... I decided to sign her up for two mornings a week so she can socialize with other kids and learn from other caring adults. It was a hard decision, actually... because I feel guilty that I'm not the one with her during those hours. That I'm not home-schooling and guiding her solely myself. etc. (I think I read too many mama blogs that make me feel like anything less than total creative one-on-one mom/kid time is not acceptable...) But the more I searched my own heart, and the more I paid close attention to Veda's needs, the more I realized that this is a good thing. She is going to love being with other kids and being a little more independent. And I am going to love these few hours a week to focus on my work (something that I feel so ready to jump back into full-on). And getting down to it... it's not about what works for other mothers and their children... it's about what works for us, our own little family. So I'm grateful to be listening to my own heart and stepping away from self-judgement.

I'm also grateful that tomorrow is my birthday and I feel like it's going to be a great new year. New place. New people. A new start. I've been feeling stronger in myself lately. Reconnecting to my own voice, in a way. And I think that this new year will give me space to explore that more fully.

I'm grateful for so much more, but for right now, those are the big things. Little life, big heart.