The reason I've been somewhat quiet here on the ol' blog is because I was having somewhat of an identity crisis. I started this blog as a way to record my leap into illustration when I was first starting out on wobbly legs a zillion (10!) years ago. Then it morphed into me sharing lots of life as my style evolved and I became more stable in my methods. Then my illustration work took off. A few years later I got interested in - and trained as - a yoga teacher. And now I'm pursuing Thai bodywork school also. Oh, and add to that the fact that I became a full-time, stay-at-home mom to a strong-willed, wonder-filled little redhead. Crazy, all the hats we women wear.
So I wasn't sure exactly what to write about here (do I keep it solely about the art? or do I sprinkle in all of my diverse interests?), and for that matter... who am I writing to? Who would be interested in reading about all this mish-mash and entanglement?
I came to a screeching halt... Silence.
But on a hike last Saturday with some friends, one of them asked me how Thai was going and what I planned to do with it. I gulped at first, wondering how to answer. But then I found myself saying: I want to pursue it all. I am a good illustrator, but I think (hope) I've also got potential to be a gifted Thai practitioner. So what I plan on doing is both, as time - and my first priority as a mother - allow. When illustration is busy, I'll schedule fewer bodywork sessions. When the art is slow, I'll bring in more Thai clients. But my main goal is always unchanging -- to be present for Veda and my husband. So as long as that's happening, I'm gold. I can do art. I can practice thai. I can teach a yoga class. It really doesn't matter. Because it all makes me happy and come alive.
That wasn't so tough.
After the hike, I laughed at myself on the car ride home. Why in the world was I so stressed about it all? It all suddenly seemed so simple and manageable. I mean, even if it all fails and comes crashing down in flames around me -- I'd still be ok! I'd still be breathing and laughing with my kiddo and cooking soup. But the likelihood of all going to hell in a handbasket is nil. More likely is that I will be intensely happy pursuing everything that makes my little heart sing - a beautiful bundle of interests. It's all good when I can remember to just chill and let it flow. I can't control the river. But I can swim in it and blow bubbles to my heart's content.