I am so excited to tell you that we are a little over 12 weeks pregnant! A baby bean is coming our way in February! Yeeee!
I still can't believe this is real... We'd been trying for about a year and a half and wanted this little soul to come into our lives so badly. And it finally happened in the month of May that I took off for some intense healing and personal space (remember?). (I wanted to tell you then, but of course could not...)
Colin and I were unknowingly practicing conscious conception (my yoga instructor informed me that everything we were doing was on this path: yoga together, clearing up old personal wounds, detoxing our space, becoming veg, etc) and that paired with some good western docs steering us in the right direction finally did the trick I think. And now we are just on cloud nine!
And this probably explains why my creativity has fallen to record lows in the last 3 months. Colin says that I've just been busy creating something completely different. (Isn't he sweet?) And that paired with the fact that I have pretty much felt nauseous 24/7 and that I could barely keep my eyes open for more than 2 hours at a time explains why I've been quiet and down for the count here. I had to fit what I could into the few moments that I was awake!
I really couldn't believe that the first trimester took me out like that. My sister had just been through it and said it knocked her out, and I secretly thought she was just being a wuss. (sorry Laur! hee!) I couldn't imagine being that tired because of a few cells spinning around in my belly. And I truly thought that I'd be able to plow through it like my normal self. That tiredness and nausea was something I could conquer with hard work and determination.
Um, not so much.
My body was completely commandeered and I had no choice but to honor that. It suddenly put things into perspective. Work could wait. I could fit in in the cracks if I cut back on the amount of assignments I was taking. Social events had to be put on hold because I never felt good enough to go. And I had to focus on self-care only... Sleeping. Eating healthy food. Relaxing.
But I have to say that it has been VERY difficult through the move and house hunt and caring for Alison while Tom was away. I had to learn to let other people do things for me. Something I'm just not good at. (I tend to think that my way of doing things is better... Arrogant, I know...)
So, this has all just been a huge learning time for me so far. And I'm sure it's just going to continue to teach me and mold me as it progresses... the pregnancy as well as the sweet little one on its way.
But I'm looking forward to it all. It's a reprogramming that I welcome with open arms. I am so looking forward to kissing little baby toes, sniffing a tiny baby head, and having my world rocked so hard it's unrecognizable. Can't wait!