getting out of the way

i learn so much in my yoga class. It's like my instructor knows exactly what to say at exactly the right time. And all I have to do is open myself up to listen. Telling my spaghetti insides to just be still for a minute and LISTEN.

Last night we were practicing tiny little micro-movements. Simply circling our arms around our shoulder sockets and watching our insides, and she said: "A lot of yoga is just getting out of the way of ourselves. Yoking with the divine and getting out of the way."

And I felt a little lump in my throat. Um. Yeah.

I've been doing such a bad job of getting out of the way lately. I guess I'm a control freak and have been trying really hard to push things to get in line... shape up... do what i want... etc. Showing no trust.

When she said we needed to get out of the way I thought: you're right... How am I supposed to let the universe do it's thing if I keep stepping up and taking the reins? How am I supposed to experience miracles and the perfect unfolding if I keep my grip so tight around its neck?

A softening. That's what I feel this morning.

After doing my new morning ritual of reading, journaling and being still -- I listened. I opened up windows. It's very windy today and it feels like change. There is movement all around my studio. I have incense burning, grapefruit-scented "joy" oil on my wrists, and Buddhist monastery music playing as I work. And I am here right now for my work. Letting go of everything but that.