Tonight is Colin's work christmas party and we are bringing a dessert (which Colin made himself!). I am looking forward to seeing everyone again, but I'm very scared of one thing... you see, they all pulled names out of a hat for a secret santa gift exchange, and I have a bad history with these secret santa things. It started when I was about five years old. I was in a small church group called Calvinettes and there were girls ranging from my age to about 7th grade. It worked pretty well because we split into our own age groups for lessons and when there was free time, I played with my best friend who was also five. I was always scared of the "big girls" though... they seemed enormous to me in both size and coolness.
Well, Christmas came along as it always did and we had a Secret Santa exchange. In my memory, I pulled my best friend's name out of the hat, or maybe I just really wanted to give her something and so I told my mom I'd chosen her. And what I really wanted to get her was a glow worm doll. These were all the rage then I guess, and I was in love with mine... their faces lit up when you squeezed them! So my mom and I went out and picked out a green and yellow glow worm.
For visual reference, this is the one we got:
The night of the exchange at church I was so excited to give the glow worm to my friend. I had wrapped it all up myself and couldn't wait to play glow worms with her.
So I was mortified when she got a gift from someone else in the circle. That means that I didn't really pull her name... I sat there as all the gifts were given out. Until just one girl remained with no gift: a big girl. And one gift remained to be given: the glow worm.
I felt a little panicked that the big girl would not like my glow worm gift, but I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe big girls loved glow worms too... I mean, I couldn't even imagine not liking glow worms! So I handed over my gift and watched as she opened it.
Slowly she untaped my wrapping job and pulled the soft green and yellow worm from the paper... She held it up and looked at it from top to bottom... And frowned. In disgust. She FROWNED IN DISGUST. And she turned to me and said "Nice gift, BABY."
And I nearly died. I felt like my guts hollowed out and demon-dropped right down into my patent-leather shoes. My hair tingled. My cheeks went numb. And I was sure I was going to puke.
She called me a baby right in front of all the rest of the girls. She hated me AND my gift.
I ran out of the room in tears and waited in the bathroom until it was time for my mom to pick me up. Just me and the toilets. A baby in the bathroom...
So. Yeah. I hate secret santa exchanges. Hate them.
And tonight we'll go through another one. Colin is still "the new guy" so he's not real familiar with the people he doesn't work with on a daily basis, one of whom, of course, he drew. So we are giving this woman, who we basically don't know, a gift. And you know what we're giving? One of my new prints.
Colin thinks she'll like it, but you'd better believe that I will quietly excuse myself to the powder room right before she opens it. I don't want to be there if she doesn't like it.
Once again, I'll be the baby in the bathroom.