three weeks and three days

hello stranger. it's been a while... We've been swimming in new baby oceans and the waters during the first two weeks were very, very rough. Lots of learning and getting to know one another. Helping her get accustomed to the world outside the safe warm womb, and adjusting ourselves to sleep deprivation and this new mysterious beautiful creature. This whole experience so far -- from the pregnancy to the birth to breastfeeding to being a newbie parent -- has been a huge lesson in lettting go of expectations, plans and assumptions. Nothing has gone the way I'd imagined, and it's taken a lot of tears and support to get over that and make new decisions based on what works for our little family. But now, just past week three, I can see positive changes and that things are getting a little easier. Feels so good.

I will write more later about some of the challenges, my version of the birth story, and how this little girl is changing our lives. But this is all I can muster right now... she's been a bit fussy today and she's finally asleep on my chest (she only sleeps on a person right now, which hardly ever leaves me free to write or do much -- which is ok really. I like to just feel her, smell her and listen to her soft sounds). So now I'm going to lie back, listen to the sweet music playing, and do some breathing. Breathing...

more soon...

xoxo