lack of power play

Play is happening mostly indoors lately. I am still pretty ill. No big breakthroughs at the doctor (not that I was expecting any). We wait for test results coming next week, and will hopefully be able to treat then. I'm back to feeling ridiculously tired. I do ok in the mornings and then seem to hit a huge wall and have to lie down most of the afternoons. This is not an easy thing because: 1) I am a DO-er. It makes me crazy nutso to just laze around; and 2) I have a 3 year old sidekick, who is also a DO-er.

So play has been mainly: play dough, coloring on the dry-erase board, extended matching games, and the ever-popular "let's hide under the laundry basket" game. Then I put on a movie for her while I lie flat on my back and take a nap. It makes me feel like a bad mom. But that's what I got right now. And I guess it's ok because at the moment, it's my best.

I couldn't be more ready to feel myself again. I feel like I'm living 2 inches below my skin. I long for long walks in the woods, feeling power in my stride and strength in my body. I want to be able to set up and knock down all the little projects that make me feel accomplished. Nothing huge... Making hummus. A swim in the pool with her. Repot a plant. A garage sale.

I'm ready.

Please send healing thoughts my way. I could use them.