thank you solitude

Lately I'm finding myself in a really good space and I want to acknowledge it. I notice how often we shine our light on the negative or what's not working (e.g. if you get 9 compliments and 1 criticism, what do you focus on?), and when times are good we leave it unsaid. Maybe that's just me. In any case... right now I feel life is flowing in the most beautiful way. It is full, but not too full. I took the move as an opportunity to reevaluate all that we were doing (and using) and dropped certain things that seemed unnecessary and added things that were obviously missing. So this balance we've hit right now feels just perfect. I don't feel bogged down by obligations (like I so often do when I over-extend or say yes without thinking) and have been very mindful about what I agree to.

The two mornings that Veda attends preschool have really transformed my time and my patience as a mother, too. Each time I drop her off, rain or shine, I head over to the wooded trail and walk around the lake with the dog. We walk briskly, and when it feels right, we run. Either way we always break a sweat. We marvel at the colors and the shadows on the path. We enjoy the space to think. The sound of rhythmic footsteps. The crunch of leaves. The counting of the breath. And when we get home, I take time for my own yoga practice (I have decided to hold off on teaching for now) and meditation. This alone has changed my days.

I've rediscovered what I've always known about myself: that I thrive on solitude. I need space to hear my thoughts. I need to be alone and silent in order to rebalance myself. And if I can get that time outdoors... sun shining on my face or rain soaking through my boots... all the better. I am refueled. I am a better parent. partner. artist. friend.

So since building more of that quiet time in, I am feeling more creative than ever. I am painting. I'm giving myself permission to re-paint if something isn't working. I'm experimenting. I'm working on inspiring projects. I'm cooking elaborate meals. I'm patiently making chai. I'm playing. I am doing lots of crafty things (for the first time in my life). I'm involved. I'm engaged.

I am happy.